Finding The Next Adventure
When I dealt the finishing blow to Xagor in Final Fantasy Legend 3, I was about ready for the game to be over. I had no attachment to the hastily told story. So, when that final cutscene played, I got up and talked to one of my friends while the text slowly crawled across the screen. It was a Game Boy game. I had low expectations of it, and it succeeded in surpassing those. But now that game has ended and it's become time once again to decide what I should play next.
It's a funny thing, to move on. I have booted up 5 games since finishing Final Fantasy Legend 3. Each one I began with fervor and intentionality. But as I moved from one game to the next, I felt a pang of guilt as if I'd abandoned a project entirely.
During this time period, I played: Bravely Default, Pokémon X, inFamous Second Son, Dungeon Antiqua 2, and Pillars of Eternity. I played each for a few hours with the most recent being Pillars of Eternity.
There were different partings with each game. With the 3DS games, I frustratedly thrashed against the idea of giving up. I love the hardware and desperately wanted to love these RPGs. I finished an area in inFamous Second Son and affectionately thought, "I love this game, but I've had my fill." And I still play Pillars of Eternity each day, maybe this is the one I see to the end.
I feel like I'm dating around. I've always struggled dating around in real life so perhaps it's fitting that I struggle here too. Creating temporary attachments, feeling guilty that the best thing for me to do is to try something else. If you'll excuse the continuation of this corny metaphor; I keep trying to know that the right one for me in this moment is out there somewhere.
Hobbies are complicated, especially modern gaming. There are so many options, and to waste an afternoon on listless apathy to your wants and needs sets you up for continued anxieties. I alleviate this by reminding myself that I'm in that transitionary period. It's okay to start and give up on games if it's in the name of finding that next adventure.